What doesn’t kill you

What doesn’t kill you

  • Find Your Best Self
  • Maggie Edwards

What does not kill you, Makes you Stronger! I am sure you heard it many times. If you know me long enough, you know that I have done a lot of brave things in my life, one of them was going to Vienna age 20 being on my own,...

What does not kill you, Makes you Stronger!

I am sure you heard it many times. If you know me long enough, you know that I have done a lot of brave things in my life, one of them was going to Vienna age 20 being on my own, without German knowledge, financial or moral support. That sentence, the title of this article was actually my daily mantra.

Back then life was hard and sometimes it “FELT” that it will never get easier. But as long as I had the “Right perspective believing in my plan and my mission” I thought then that I was ok, and I was.

If you need a bit of a “reality check” or some sort of motivation, read more ….

First, you need to know that in life every little progress counts!!!!  It is not some sort of exaggeration, it is a pure fact, so let’s focus on facts.
It is not about the last step before you reach the mountain top, it’s in fact all about many, tinny steps, which is your whole journey to the Top.

We get so often discouraged when we try to achieve something and we are “not yet there”, so quickly buying into the inner negative self-talk, lack, focusing of what we don’t have, making ourselves miserable.
Instead, we should fully focus on our “progress” being grateful for what we  DO have, giving ourselves the well deserved praise, monitoring our progress, and be good to ourselves, feeling that we are doing it right.

It is all because we have conditioned ourselves to act this way. We have been practicing this way of thinking, this pattern for many years because that’s the way our society and environment is. Socially accepted trends are always “common”, following what the majority of people feel, think, and do. So, if the majority of people go to the pub, drink too much and eat crapy food, society is tuned to this kind of behavior, and if one person starts saying something which is against the masses, there is a massive disconnection, confusion, fear of being an outsider and lack of drive to pursue your own way.

We are programmed( subconsciously ) to focus on the big goals, with no strategy and right tools on how to actually get there. I have read a recent study and it proved that the top reason why people are failing when they set challenging goals is “LACK OF BELIEF and lack ability to recognize actual progress” as soon as they start moving in the right direction, they hit the wall and they quit. Because or “instant reward” which I call “beginners luck” syndrome. You may feel that you have accomplished something, that you have dug deeper and that’s incredible, but so often that’s only the beginning before you really make considerable effort to actually embed the change.

So to summarise, the actual growth and tangible progress are not at the beginning, it is actually at the point when you really put some effort it, overcome few walls and dug deeper feeling, knowing and seeing that things have changed. It is much more than you may think.

So, if you have set yourself a new challenge or working currently on one, remember this:
” Your success is hidden in the series of small steps added together. The better you engineer them, the quicker and better your result” The secret is in preparation, details, and readiness for the challenge.

Going back to my personal story, when I was in Vienna, even though I hit rock bottom many times, The next day I would always ask myself a question:
“Am I better today than a week, month, 3 months ago? And the answer was YES”
I would continue this monolog by saying why, for example, ” I am better because I have accomplished this and that. I am better at this and that…”  And I would always finish by saying: “Great, I am doing ok”.
At that point everything changed because I knew that it is not about being the best, it’s about being better than you were a few days ago”

I also employed that system in my coaching, and this method it is proving to work really well.

If you are in a similar situation right now, and need some kind of way to refocus yourself today try to answer these following questions and see what happens. Disclaimer*, you are doing it “For Yourself”.

–       Am I better today than a few months ago?
–       What has changed?
–       Where did I improve?
–       What have I learned so far?
We all need from time to time a “reality check”. By reverse-engineering, you can reach right to the top with a smile on your face, yes it is possible as long as your know-how. The clue is in Building Amazing, Intelligently designed Small Steps and focusing on those every day, without going into the negativity and lack.

Can you do that?